"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
