Me. At least after what I've been through.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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