:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
