its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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