The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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