I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
