Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
