sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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