Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
