Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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