I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
