Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
