I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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