is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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