in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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