I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
