high people should be assigned attendants
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
