it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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