she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
