I wanna passion pit in your ass
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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