He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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