Christians are straight up FREAKS
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
