why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
