The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
