If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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