I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
