Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
