69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
