Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
