My brain says no but my pants say off.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
