he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just high enough for therapy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
