I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
