I accidentally had phone sex last night
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
