She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
