the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
