So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
