when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
