Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
