it wasn't lemon gatorade
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
