You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
