11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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