What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
