Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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