is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
