My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
