I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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