bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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