Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
