I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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