let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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