The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
